I Am Not A Good Announcer

I am not a good announcer anymore, well at least by the standards and expectations in today's dirt track racing world as expressed by a racing media personality that I enjoy listening to on a weekly basis. On his show this past Saturday he stated that he wanted an announcer that does his homework, has the ability to whip the crowd up into a frenzy, provides sharp play-by-play throughout every race and doesn't just set the microphone down during intermission.

Okay, so I'd like to think that I can still satisfy two of those requirements, but frankly this old dog is not willing to make the changes to compete the new requirements. Let's review each of the four.

I'd like to think that my "homework" allows me to speak pretty intelligently about the drivers, their hometowns and their past accomplishments. Can I discuss details about setups, chassis types and engines? No but I can cover the basics and that is all that most of the crowd cares about anyway. With my Sprint Invaders gig I have the advantage of being able to lean on and listen to my partner Bill Wright who knows more about Sprint Car racing than anybody you will meet, but with him perhaps missing a date or two this summer due to his involvement with the National Sprint League I will have to pick up my game a bit.

Whipping the crowd up into a frenzy. I'm not sure exactly to what extent the radio personality expects from this but I do know that one of his colleagues is very well known for hyping the crowd. One night at a track in central Missouri that colleague was one of two announcers working a Sprint Car show and Morgan and I decided to make a tally mark for each time that he either asked the crowd "Are you having fun tonight?" or "Make some noise." We stopped making the marks when we reached seventy-five and we still hadn't made it to feature time. And that was with the guy sharing the microphone with an announcer that perhaps leans more toward my way of thinking. Oh yeah, and when he was busy hyping the crowd he also failed to get the full starting lineup announced before the drop of the green every time but once.

An announcer has to know when to "hype" the crowd, otherwise it is just forced enthusiasm. If you are making hot laps sound like the last lap of the feature, then you are overdoing it. If a six-car heat race has the cars spaced out by mid-race and you are still raising the tone of your voice, or even talking at all, you are overdoing it. I believe that you let the racing create the excitement and then you add to that with your own voice inflection. If anybody thinks that an announcer is going to make a boring race sound exciting to those who are actually watching that race, they are nuts.

Sharp play-by-play throughout every race. Okay, even I see the need for this if the track's PA announcer is being piped through to either a live internet audio or video feed, but if we are talking about an announcer who is only serving the crowd that is actually at the track watching, why in the world do I need to run a constant description of the action to that crowd?? First of all, especially during feature time, the announcer can only barely be heard over the noise in the first place. Yes, those folks who have shelled out the extra cash to sit in the booths can hear you, but that brings me to my second point. If they are actually watching the race, why in the world do I need to provide a play-by-play for it? Watch a college basketball game on TV sometime and notice that there is very little actual description of the play-by-pay action, and the PA announcer is not describing every pass, dribble, shot and rebound are they? Heck no they aren't!

Trying to provide constant play-by-play leads to overhyping and overuse of phrases that eventually go from annoying to comical. Hey, let's face it, it is not easy to provide a constant play-by-play of a six car heat race where nobody passes anybody, so it is no wonder that the same things get said again and again and again and again. I swear that if I hear the phrase "are you kidding me?" one more time I may puke.

If you want to pay me a little extra I will provide a radio-type play-by-play "broadcast" for your live audio or video stream on the internet (you are making money on that aren't you?), but otherwise I will continue to do as I always have. I will sneak in comments while the cars are on the back stretch during heat races and I will always provide you with interesting information during a caution period, but otherwise I am going to do the same thing that the fans should be doing; watching the race.

Ever wonder why those announcers set the microphone down during intermission? They are worn out from hyping the crowd and talking non-stop while the green flag racing is going on. No wonder they need a break!! I have always used intermission and caution periods (I prefer no intermissions) to tell the crowd about the sponsors, upcoming events and other items of interest.

It used to make me feel very good to have people tell me what a good announcer that I was, but I guess those days have passed me by. Oh well, it was a good ride.....